When Love Turns Risky: Grooming, Sextortion and Safety Gaps on Dating Apps in India

When dating apps first entered our lives, they promised connection through convenience, a modern twist on serendipity. With a simple swipe, you could meet someone new, flirt a little, feel seen. But as these apps became part of everyday romance, another reality began to surface. Behind every match notification, there now lurks the possibility of manipulation, grooming, and abuse.

Today, online dating in India is mainstream, not a niche experiment. Popular dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Grindr and others are woven into the way young people meet, talk and explore relationships. At the same time, they are quietly becoming spaces where digital harm, emotional exploitation and technology-facilitated gender-based violence are growing concerns.

The Illusion of Connection

With hundreds of millions of users worldwide, dating apps have turned into global meeting grounds for love, casual dating and companionship. In India, the dating app market is expanding rapidly in both revenue and users as more people go online for romantic connections. Many of these users are young adults navigating relationships, identity and independence in a digital-first world. After using some of the popular dating apps, I felt that there is much more that can be looked into. The afterthought of using the apps also increases the worry about the safety of the user.

But increased usage has also meant increased vulnerability. Multiple studies and surveys have highlighted how women and other marginalised users face harassment, stalking and online abuse on social and dating platforms in India. Reports of fake profiles, sextortion scams and impersonation are becoming more frequent, and many users are left feeling unsafe and unsure about how to seek help. These experiences are not just statistics, they reflect the growing discomfort and distrust that sit behind many profiles and bios. The new trends have also set that ideology amongst many young users.

Grooming in the Age of Apps

Online grooming on dating apps in India often looks different from the stereotypical image of a stranger targeting a child in a chat room. Here, grooming is frequently romance based. It can start with a flattering message, a convincing bio or a carefully curated persona. People may pose as doctors, army officers, successful professionals or NRIs to build quick trust and social credibility. Over time, conversations shift from friendly to intimate and eventually to requests for money, sexual favours or explicit photos.

For some, it ends in financial fraud or sextortion; for others, it leads to emotional blackmail or offline abuse. At Social & Media Matters we have come across incidents and cases where the use of the platform has gone ugly for some. The loose end of the app is the lack of transparency. Investigations and police cases in several Indian cities show how predators use dating apps to identify vulnerable users and slowly push them into risky situations, sometimes even targeting young adults or single parents to gain access to their children. What can begin as a chat that feels exciting or validating can slowly turn into coercion.

The Emotional and Psychological Cost

The impact of unsafe experiences on dating apps goes far beyond one bad date or a rude message. Many women, queer people and young users describe a constant sense of vigilance when they are online. They worry about screenshots, leaked nudes, being blackmailed or being judged if they speak up. Over time, this can lead to anxiety, stress, self-doubt and a reluctance to trust new people at all.

Research and consultations on technology-facilitated gender-based violence in India have pointed to long term psychological harm, including fear, shame and social withdrawal for survivors of online harassment and abuse. The emotional labour of staying safe online, blocking, reporting, second guessing every interaction and then still feeling exposed has made dating fatigue a very real experience. Love is supposed to feel freeing and affirming, not like a risk calculation.

Where Platforms and Policies Fall Short

Many users report that reporting tools are confusing or hard to find, that there is little feedback after a complaint, and that abusive accounts seem to reappear easily. Moderation systems do not always work effectively in Indian languages, which all

ows harmful content and grooming patterns to slip through. On paper, India does have laws that can apply to online dating harms but not specific. Provisions related to cyberstalking, obscene content, child protection and intermediary responsibilities exist across criminal law and IT regulation. However, survivors often struggle with slow processes, lack of clarity on where to report, and inconsistent enforcement. The result is a gap between what the law promises and what a victim actually experiences when they seek help.

What Needs to Change

Making dating apps safer in India will require action at multiple levels. Policymakers need to acknowledge grooming and technology facilitated abuse as a core part of digital harm and address it clearly in upcoming IT Act reforms and online safety frameworks. Regular, independent audits of platforms can help evaluate how well they are detecting grooming patterns, preventing recidivism and supporting survivors.

Dating platforms themselves must invest in safety by design. This can include better verification systems, more robust moderation in Indian languages, prominent and user friendly reporting mechanisms, and trauma informed responses when users reach out. Local partnerships with organisations working on digital rights and gender based violence can also make safety features more relevant and accessible in the Indian context.

At the same time, users need to be equipped with knowledge and tools. School and college level digital safety sessions, public campaigns on grooming and sextortion, and survivor centred resources can make it easier for people to recognise red flags early and seek support without shame.

Unpacking the Culture Around Modern Dating

Beyond laws and platform policies, there is also a cultural layer to how dating apps are used in India. Trends like going on dates only for free meals or the fetishisation of Dalit, queer, Northeastern or other marginalised identities reflect deeper prejudices and inequalities. These behaviours may look like jokes or preferences on the surface, but they normalise disrespect, entitlement and objectification.

Building a safer dating ecosystem also means reshaping how we talk about desire, consent and respect. That includes calling out casteist, racist and queerphobic language in bios and messages, and encouraging conversations that see people as full humans rather than checklists or fantasies.

Love Shouldn’t Hurt

Dating apps are not inherently harmful. They have helped many people in India find partners, friendships and community, especially those who feel constrained by traditional matchmaking or social norms. But for these platforms to truly serve connection, they must be built and governed with safety, accountability and care as core priorities, not optional add ons.

Love should not hurt, online or offline. As India moves deeper into a digital future, there is an urgent opportunity and responsibility for platforms, policymakers and communities to come together and ensure that intimacy in the age of apps is not built on fear, but on dignity and safety for all.